Keith Elder Eulogy

Keith Elder Message

Genesis 15:5 “And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be.” 

How do you describe things that are larger than life? 

How do you describe the ocean the first time you stand and listen to its roar and watch its endless tide?

How do you describe the Rocky mountains when you take your first look at those towering peaks and seemingly never-ending ridges?

How do you describe the universe as you stand beneath the starry canopy and your eyes only can see the eternal void interrupted by trillions of stars and galaxies?

You don’t describe it, you admire it! You stand in awe of it, you wait in amazement because you cannot describe it! I feel the same way when I try to describe Keith Elder!

To many of us, when we first met him, he was larger than life; not only in size, but in spirit and experience.

As Mark Muirhead noted on my Facebook page he was; Big Heart, Big Stature, Big Handshake, Big Voice, Big Prayers, Big Dreams, Big Achievements and Bigger Rewards.

I would like to add; Big Friend, Big Husband, Big Father, Big Grand Dad, Big Brother, and Big Neighbor!

While his absence leaves a void in us, his legacy leaves us with big responsibilities to carry on the vision, the love, the prayers, the caring and the dreams, that he championed for us!

He left us with an example of how to preach the Gospel! He showed us that the message was better delivered with  a hug, a tug on the shoulder, an open door, a forgiving heart, a tear in the eye and welcoming meal.

I don’t know that I ever had the privilege to hear him preach, but his message was always clear and precise and life changing: to him people matter, vision matters, and legacy matters.

He taught us how to live, how to dream and how to leave behind what really matters.

For many of us he was our greatest coach cheering us on! He’s left the field, but the game continues on!  He left us his legacy and we honor it today!

Elder’s life has yielded so much good fruit of lives being changed. May his legacy continue to yield that same fruit!

Revelation 14:13 “And I heard a voice from heaven, saying, “Write, ‘Blessed are the dead who die from now on!’” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “so that they may rest from their labors, for their deeds follow with them.””

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Agreement and Disagreements

Agreement and Disagreements

I have been thinking lately of a few scriptures that I think have been misused and misapplied to disagreements among brothers of the faith. I think there is a real difference between mature men in the faith disagreeing and someone sinning against a brother.

Matthrew 18:[15] Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. [16] But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. [17] And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.

This passage gives the process of how to deal with an notable and significant offense among two brothers. First, is this offense something large enough that it cannot be removed in your personal time of prayer by releasing it to The Lord? Have you even prayed about it? Are you really letting something small become a mountain? Sometimes we just need to “man up” and know that things happen unintentionally. Let it go and release it to The Lord. By doing this you allow the Holy Spirit to mature you and you allow the Holy Spirit to work in your brother.

Second. If it something that you feel must be approached then you are to go to the offending brother. Not to accuse but to to arrive at the place of reconciliation, forgiveness and healing.

Third, if the offending brother is not approachable then after a season of time bring others into the communication. Again, not to harass but to bring reconciliation, forgiveness and healing. At this point it is also to expose error which could bring division not only between you and him but he and the body of Christ.

There are more steps that I think should be approached carefully but I want to go on from this to where I am seeing some misuse of this passage. It seems that this passage is used by individuals in roles of authority to reprimand those who serve with them or below them for calling out concerns with leadership decisions. God does lift men into leadership roles to help the body. These offices should be revered and honored. Loyalty should be afforded at every junction possible. But here is where I am concerned about leadership. It has never been the individuals right of leadership to not be open to the critique of his fellow brother. No man is set in a position to live and rule empirically over the body of Christ. Especially in a democratic form of church government. If that is the chosen form of government of the church body, then honor the process. Men are chosen among their peers to serve their peers as the ministry serves the church. These individuals are special for the season of their service. This is not because of the position but because of the confidence placed in them by their fellow members. Since they are placed in leadership by them, then leadership should be administrated to help find the will of God for the church, with them and not without them. Leaderships challenge is to move others to the place God is calling them to go. That will be impossible without consensus, clarity and communion.

The Apostle Paul challenged Simon Peter publicly in Galatians for his public hypocrisies. He did not go privately because Simon Peters errors were public and too significant not to call out so that others would not practice the same actions. This was not for reconciliation, forgiveness or healing. This was for correction to the body of Christ where Simon was leading.

Galatians 2:11 When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong. [12] Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. [13] The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray.
[14] When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all, “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew. How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?

Simon Peters response is not noted in the passage, but we can assume he humbly fell in line with his brothers correction. Why would he not fall in place? His brother in the Lord, his fellow servant and laborer for the gospel, was telling him the truth. Paul was concerned with the greater good of the Church and the truth of the Gospel. Truth and righteousness was more important than any one man’s feelings or role. This was an issue that was central to the Gospel and demanded attention.

I personally do not believe administrative, organization structures or any other human form of government would have been on Paul’s radar nor on the Holy Spirits mind. I think we even today are too concerned with those things that are merely tools rather than tasks mandated by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. If those who are having to live with the administration are happy then be happy and vote among yourselves those forms in place. Let God get glory out of the Gospel and don’t allow the Gospel to be hindered by administration or lack thereof.

What if Simon had quoted Matthew 18 to Paul? He would have been in error. He would have been marginalizing a man God had made his equal. He would have been making a mistake that would have been detrimental to the body of Christ. Never demean, defame or demonize your brethren because of disagreements. Contend for the truth and allow the Holy Spirit to bring unity and communion.

Leaders, we do damage to our God given leadership roles when we place ourselves in a superior role to our brethren. A position is not ours to use as a place to shut down dialogue and debate. Allow others to contend in a biblical way with the operation of the Church. If as a leader one still feels that God is directing down a certain path, then do it with the blessing of both those who agree and disagree. But never use the scripture to make those God has raised up and used as men who sin or stir strife. Godly men want the best for the Church and it’s leaders. Even Paul and Barnabas separated in their physical work but continued in the work of the same Gospel message. Disagreements arise and as time passes those disagreements vanish and are forgotten.

To shun others because one is insecure with others questions is below the office of the leadership one have been chosen by their brethren to serve in.

Never use the scripture that deals with offenses among believers to be an obstacle to opposition of ones organization or administration. A brother sinning against a brother is different than a leaders leadership among ones peers. Sin separates us from God and each other. The Blood of Christ unites us and administrative differences should never sever brothers from each other. We might not can work together but we can walk and worship together. We may not care for each other’s leadership style, organization or administration but that is not equivalent to the bond of the Blood of Christ among us. May we all be hid behind the cross and never place anything if front of it!

Be Healed of your disease

Mark 5:34 And he said to her, “Daughter, *your faith has made you well; *go in peace, and be healed of your *disease.”

Matthew 9:35 And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people.

Matthew [10:1] And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness and all manner of disease.

Webster says disease is a disordered or incorrectly functioning organ, part, structure, or system of the body resulting from the effect of genetic or developmental errors, infection, poisons, nutritional deficiency or imbalance, toxicity, or unfavorable environmental factors; illness; sickness; ailment.

The effects of disease on the life of an individual is devastating. The slow wilting away of life is a painful thing to watch. The loved ones pain only pales to the crippling fingers of disease on the individual experiencing the pain, weakness, numbing, confusion and anxiety of the body. When the body begins to be broken down by disease there is not only little one can do but little one knows to do.

Disease like sin has a path and that path is death. The wages of sin is death. Nothing can be done about the results of sin except die. Nothing can be done with disease except death.

But like sin, disease has been paid for by Christ. He has the power over sin, death and the grave! We have no power over sin to stop its results! But Christ has that power! When he walked on earth He healed all manner of disease. He later gave His disciples the power to heal all manner of disease! The power of the Healer is in the hands of the healed! We who have been reconciled are to reconcile others. We who have been set free from the bondage of sin have been commanded to set free the prisoner! We who were hungry are now sent out with food for the perishing! We who were naked and ashamed have now been commissioned to clothed and cover the shame. We have been given the authority to heal the sick and release people from their disease!

The weight of this responsibility is too heavy for us to carry. The world needs a Savior, a sacrifice and a sacrament. This responsibility is laid upon us but we are to lay our lives back on Christ to do His work! Try to solve the worlds problems and you will fail! Invest yourself in their disease and you will die of that disease. No, we cannot do the work of Christ in our power. We must work the works of God in the power of the Holy Spirit! We must become the working clothes of the Holy Spirit and He in us becomes the Hope of Glory! If you can do the work then you don’t need God. If you don’t need God then you are working on something that is too small and insignificant!

I have had disease and I know the powerlessness and helplessness it brings! I have seen disease take strength and vitality from me. I did not need sympathy or empathy I needed to be set free from the disease! I needed someone with the ability to allow God to work through them for the disease to surrender to! The world and love ones need you and I to let God use us to heal the sick. I am praying that God will anoint us to heal the sick and be able to say to them as He said to the daughter of Israel, “and he said to her, “Daughter, *your faith has made you well; *go in peace, and be healed of your *disease.”

Drama Has No Destiny!

Drama has no Destiny!

I heard this quote recently that made me think about drama. “Too many driven by drama rather than destiny!” Samuel Rodriguez

Drama is like a rip current in the ocean. It will drag you away from the shores of your life and toward an ocean that has no borders. If you try to fight the drama it will sap your strength and eventually weaken you to your death. The only way to get away from a rip current is to swim parallel to the shore until you get free of it and then swim back to the shore. Rip currents are not wide just wild. If you keep your head and never lose sight of the shore you can eventually swim back to the shore. The same is true about drama. If you are not careful the drama will cause you to lose the focus of your destiny. All of a sudden you look up and realize you are fighting something that does not matter. Now you have no strength left to return to your destiny. Defeat and death then become your partners.

Drive has to have a destiny! Control the urge to fight and flitter away your future! To me a simple plan keeps me in focus to the things that need to be driving me.

Matthew 6:33 Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness….

What does the Kingdom and the King want out of me?

Where does the Kingdom and the King get the best benefit out of my life?

What is it that is keeping me from doing the right things for the Kingdom and the King?

I have found that in the process of living I can become so engrossed in the work of the Kingdom that I forget the King! Sometimes I have even found myself fighting for the Kingdom in ways that are not pleasing to the King. Righteousness must be practiced at all times for the Kingdom to be administrated as the King desires. We destroy the Kingdom when we become self-righteous and focus on the wrongs of others rather than the king.

The church or organizations we belong to is not the Kingdom. The leaders or the pastors of our churches are not the King. They are not the enemy either! The enemy is you! When you focus on anything other than the King and His Kingdom then you become an enemy. Be free to follow the King and determine to live in the Kingdom of Righteousness. The drama will go away and you will find the shores that bring peace.

Ministry Promotions and Elections should be determined my The Lord and not our Politics.

Ministry Promotions and Elections should be determined my The Lord and not our Politics.

Psalm 75:1 We give thanks to you, O God;
we give thanks, for your name is *near.
We* recount your wondrous deeds.
[2] “At *the set time that I appoint
I will judge *with equity.
[3] When the earth *totters, and all its inhabitants,
it is I who keep steady its *pillars. Selah
[4] I say to the boastful, ‘Do not boast,’
and to the wicked, *‘Do not lift up your horn;
[5] do not lift up your horn on high,
or speak with haughty neck.’”
[6] For not from the east or from the west
and not from the wilderness comes *lifting up,
[7] but it is *God who executes judgment,
*putting down one and lifting up another.
[8] *For in the hand of the LORD there is *a cup
with foaming wine, *well mixed,
and he pours out from it,
and all the wicked of the earth
shall *drain it down to the dregs.
[9] But I will declare it forever;
I will sing praises to the God of Jacob.
[10] *All the horns of the wicked I will cut off,
*but the horns of the righteous shall be lifted up.

While serving in a District office position several years ago I was approached with a question that made me think. The question was this, “How would you feel if you were voted out of office?” To be honest it took be back that it was even a subject of concern. My response was not meant to be cavalier but serious. I responded, “No one can vote me out. The body would simply be voting someone else in office.” I was elected to serve a two year term and each term a vote was to be taken on the office I held not the man who held the office.

Maybe I am missing something but I think too many times elected people fail to realize the position always belongs to the organization and not any one individual or group. The body has the right and responsibility to elect whom they feel should serve the organization. It seems like some have mistakenly thought when elected, that they were given the position until they changed their mind and heart about holding it. When elected to serve the body we should serve with humility and grace. Never are we to hold an office but to let the office hold us. We should serve the body with our heart and hold the position with an open hand and not a clenched fist.

Will it sting if ever we are not returned to a post? Of course it will! The flesh will always reject a challenge. But after a few days we will get back on track. The call on our life is not to a place, position or power but to Christ. Our call is to yield to the leadership and Lordship of Christ. There is no difference in Christs eyes to the positions we hold. He is looking to see if we are holding Him or something else.

So when a body of believers vote on those to serve in various places we should cast a ballot for that person whom we feel God is directing us. We should never vote against anybody we should vote for somebody. The body is responsible to elect the best qualified individual to serve the organization. That qualification is made by the Holy Spirit with everything else being secondary. We should not be divisive in our elections but prayerful and sincere. We should never cast a ballot lightly for people’s family and future will be affected. We should never feel pressured by friendships, alliances or threats when we cast our ballots.

The question should be asked, “Whom is The Lord placing His hand on and the Holy Spirit directing for me to cast my vote?

Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born *I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet *to the nations.”

Judas Steers

Judas steer

Why’d they leave that one cow? Ain’t it good for meat? I asked my grandfather.

That there’s a Judas, a Judas steer, he answered.

He explained that a Judas steer (or just “Judas”) is a special member of a herd. The herd usually has one cow or steer that is “trained” or calm enough to lead the rest of the cows into the slaughterhouse without help of human “encouragement.” I can imagine that if I were a cow, I wouldn’t go readily into a building reeking of death. However, if I saw a trusted member of my herd going in first, I might be more easily persuaded. After all of the herd had been led into the slaughterhouse, they would extract the Judas steer and return it to the farm for future use. It is most obviously named after Judas Iscariot, the apostle of Jesus Christ that betrayed the “Son of God” with a simple kiss, revealing Jesus’ identity to the awaiting Roman guards who would arrest him and later crucify him. These cows could easily see the inside of a slaughterhouse up to a dozen times before being killed themselves, unaware which trip in which they would lead their fellow cows to their death would be its last.

The “Judas steer” was the one who helped the cowboys lead the other animals to their destruction in the stockyards. The terms dates from the 1800s cattle drives.

Copied

I hate to say it because it is disparaging of people, but sometimes crowds are like cattle. They don’t like discomfort or something that causes them to be anxious. Cattle will normally resist the unfamiliar unless there is another cow that they trust leading the way. Cowboys driving a herd to the stockyards will always look for the Judas cow. The reason is that that one cow’s leadership is enough to get the cattle to follow.

The truth is as men of God we must not follow others to our destruction. We cannot afford to allow others to lead us into places we are uncomfortable. There are several Judas steers around us today. Most of them have no idea they are influencing others to make the wrong choices. They may be young and not realize they are being used by others. It can be people who have motives of moving up in life. That in itself is not an impure motive. We always have to put principals, truth and integrity above our desires.

It is hard to pull away from the pack. It is never pleasant to disagree and descent from leadership. Even good people become poor leaders. We can love people but loathe their leadership. No one because they are in leadership deserves blind loyalty. The responsibility of leaders is to give clear, concise and credible leadership. Never allow yourself to feel that you must follow them or their followers to be a Christian. If leaders make you feel that way then they are not godly leaders. You are not an enemy if you disagree and make new paths. But you will be destroyed if you follow the wrong people following the wrong leaders!

Available for Ministry

I have been in the ministry for thirty eight years. I feel like I have been somewhat successful in my ministry to the Church. I have served as volunteer, Sunday School teacher, youth leader, Royal Ranger leader, evangelist, pastor, church planter, sectional youth representative, community ministerial president, chairman of Teen Challenge of Alabama, chairman of Alabama Prison Ministries, Crisis Center Counselor, Alabama State Youth Director, Presbyter at large, National Speed the Light director, National Aim Director, Light for the Lost field Representative, Convoy of Hope Church representative, and on and on. I have led camps, conventions, revivals, churches, committees and boards. I have built buildings and organized ministries. I have rubbed shoulders with leaders in the highest offices of our fellowship and worked alongside some men who were great but chose to serve in difficult and hard places. I have had a good run at this thing and I am not done by any means.

But when I listen to some of the things purported by some of the qualifications of ministers I would have never been able to get off first base. If God has placed in you a passion to minister then do it where you are and move forward. Learn and grow into the work. Don’t be stymied by the opinions of others. Ministry is not rocket science it is service to The Lord and His people. I guess I have never been in awe of the fine oratory of some among us. I never have felt because others spoke well, knew more and had more talent than I, that I was disqualified to minister and serve.

The best advise I could ever give a person with a desire to be in the ministry is just get in where you are and with what you have. Every person has something that God can use to help others. I am not excusing laziness in study and preparation. I am not saying that if you have the opportunity to stretch your mind and skills that you should not do so. I am saying that ministry is available at any level and to any person who will commit themselves to God through serving others.

Fight the Good Fight, Finish the Job and Keep the Faith

Fight the Good Fight, Finish the Job and Keep the Faith

2 Timothy 4:[7] I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

The Apostle was coming to the end of his time on the earth. He had some reminiscing of his life and it was put in a nutshell in 2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:

Not much more can be expected of a life well lived. Today we have the ability to live deeper, longer and higher than Paul in that we have modern technology, tools and travel at our disposal. But side by side most of us would fall far short of the success of Paul.

When God sets before us a work to do I hope when our time is served we fought the good fight, finished the job and kept the faith that was given to us.

1. Fighting the Good Fight!

To do the work of God you will always have to fight. It is a struggle to do the right thing. The biggest issue will be to fight the good fight and not just any fight. I have been amazed through the years at the men who fought everything that challenged them but it was the wrong fight. Sometimes that is because we are fighting with ourselves as to who we are and what we are suppose to do. There are just too many fights some people get themselves into to ever win the good fight. You can never win the good fight if you are fighting the wrong fight. It is not people we should be fighting. It is not issues we should be fighting. It is not even evil that we should be fighting. We are fighting for the purpose of Christ to be established in the world we are living in. We are fighting to know what it is Christ wants done. We can’t be fighting ourselves and others and ever fight the good fight. The fight is to work the works of Christ while we can and where we can and however we can.

2. I have Finished the Job!

It is not enough to start something and leave it unfinished. Your responsibility is to see the task finished. Christ on the Cross when He was about to die said, “it is finished!” Not His life, but the work He had come to accomplish. Death was not taking him until He finished. No sir, He had set His face steadfastly, firmly, stubbornly to finish His work. It drove Him to walk, work and witness until he had established His Kingdom in the earth. His part was finished but He handed off to us, the Church our part to finish. Paul said, “I fill up that which remains of the work of Christ!” He had to finish his part and so do you and I! Our task is to finish the task. We are to take the commission of Christ seriously. We are to obey the commission even to our detriment. We are to take the message of the Kingdom to every end of this world. [18] And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.

“Matthrew 28: [19] Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: [20] Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

We cannot come to the end of our time as individuals or as the collective Church and not have finished the task. We dare not waste the sacrifice of Christ on the selfishness of self-centeredness. We dare not waste the blood of the Martyrs, the plodding of the pioneers, the suffering if the missionaries on the laziness of those who snooze on the job. I certainly hope that when our shift is done we have finished more than we left unfinished.

3. Kept the Faith

This is not something mystical like wishing and speaking wealth and things into your life. It is not the comical way people profess their walk as people of faith. Proven by the homes they live in, the cars they drive and the clothes they wear. Sir, you are no more than a clown in the rodeo of life. One day one of the raging bulls of this world is going to gore you and leave you busted.

To keep the faith is to keep the truths and standards of the revealed Word of God. Men of God have been handed and delivered the truths of the Kingdom. These are eternal truths that change lives but the truths do not change. Here we have a key to the success and significance our lives have when we have run our race. Have we been true to the truth? Have we lowered the standards that God has raised? If you have changed the truth and lowered the standard Christ has given His Church you are a traitor to His work. Non of us have the right to change the truth or lower the standards of His Word. Culture, fads, leaders, organizations must heed the truth and honor His standards. When we work from the other side and make the truth and standards fit other people and ideas then we void the power of the truth and the strength of the standards.

The honor of a man of God when his work is done is not what many think. You will have no eternal honor because of the positions you have held, titles you earned, friends you made, buildings you built or races you have won. The greatest honor to a man of God is that he fought the battle, He stayed the course and He upheld the standard and lived the Truth!

Who is serving who?

Who is serving who?

“In the absence of criticism every organization ends up being managed for the benefit if the person running it.” John Garner

This is a powerful and true quote. It is frightening how many times I have seen this happen in churches, ministries and organizations. No minister starts out to control but with time, power, positions and money comes a feeling of ownership. Men begin to feel that they were raised up and given the right to control and dominate that which God placed them over. The ministry belongs to God and then to His people. He chooses among His people to serve His people. Never does He choose men to become a Lord to His people. When the organization or church begins to center around the leader and his desires danger is lurking. When council is rejected from peers because the leader knows best, danger is lurking. When people are asked to agree with leadership when no communication is given, danger is lurking. When the leader is over compensated while others who serve are underpaid something is strange. When sacrifices are forced at the bottom and benefits received at the top there is a problem.

Some say that they do not believe in the Church being a democracy it has to be a theocracy! I agree in part but also declare neither is the church to have a monarchy. God does not give us emperors to think for us. God exists in His church by His Spirit. From the lead man to the humblest follower His spirit exist in all. We are to follow and honor leadership but leadership is also to yield to amd respect others.

But the biggest problem comes when everyone is silent when things are moving the wrong way. If leadership is arrogant and self-serving someone has got to speak up. The Apostle Paul was vocal to Simon Peter when error was being practiced in the church. Galatians 2:11 Paul withstood him to the face. This did not make him an enemy, a rebel, or one who disliked others. Paul and Barnabas parted ways because they disagreed but still loved and respected the other. I think Paul was in error and later realized it.

The Church is made stronger by vocal voices and weaker by silence. No one should be disagreeable to be heard and to promote themselves. Neither should there be a desire to embarrass those in leadership. But we embarrass ourselves if something is awry and we are silent. We allow the enemy to destroy the work of God when we move in a direction that does not feel good to the Spirit.

“In the absence of criticism every organization ends up being managed for the benefit if the person running it.” John Garner

Fear is a Liar

Fear is a Liar

My friend, Pastor Jeff Calhoun snapped a pic somewhere that got me to thinking. The words were, “Fear is a Liar!” Fear is a horrible liar! The opposite of “fear” most people think is faith. But that is not true. The opposite of Fear is love!

1 john 4:18 [18] There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

So if fear is a liar and the opposite of fear is love then the way to destroy fear is to love. Think about it a moment. How can you fear someone you love? How can you be afraid someone is going to hurt you when you know they love you? How can you worry if someone is going to take something from you if you love? It is impossible to be hurt intentionally by anyone who loves you!

But if someone is causing you to fear then that is indication of one of two things. Either you do not love them and need to be perfected in love to remove the fear. The other thing is you know they do not love you and you know that, by how they make you feel.

You can deal with how you feel about others by loving them. Love of this kind is not an emotional love. This type of love is a commitment brought about by a decision based on obedience to Christ. I will love others not because they are good to me or are lovable people but because Christ commands me as His Disciple to love others. I may not even like them or trust them but I choose to love them and treat them as Christ would treat them.

I cannot change how others treat me. They can cause me to fear and be apprehensive of them, something I have no control over. When others try to manipulate you, being a Christian does not make you their whipping boy or door mat. You are not a rebel because you act like a man. Nor are you less than a man if you are not coward by their actions. You may choose to love them but at the same time be wary of them. You cannot change others by acclimating to their whims or manipulations. Sometimes the best way to love someone is stand up in their face and force them to see themselves. I choose to love you but I also choose to love you enough to tell you the hard truth I see in you.

Yes fear is a liar and love is the truth! I choose the truth and refuse the lies.